Lord I'm Ready Now (Reflections of 2014)

Wow it's almost 2015. This year flew by so fast. I really don't know where the time went. I first must give God the glory for keeping me through 2014, opening my eyes through 2014 and giving me discernment in 2014. The one thing I am proud of most is receiving the Holy Spirit even though other things have happened that brought me closer to God and that is my main goal in life being a great child of my almighty Lord and Savior. Now that God has gotten the glory I can began to reflect.

2014 started out good, a great man of God prophesied that I would finish my book and I did, which is GREAT!!! I had been procrasinating when it came to finishing the book. I really didnt want to add people in the book and portray anyone negatively. So I needed God to guide my hands and mind when it came to writing. I didn't write much in my blog only because I only write what God puts on my heart. This year I felt like I grew more emotionally and mentally.

Throughout this year I also learned to humble myself and apologize to others. Even when I was wrong because first forgiveness is a must and second Im too old to be walking around mad or having someone  mad at me.

First was a woman who was there for me throughout the hardest time in my life. She felt I wronged her the friendship was done and I honestly didn't  think I did anything wrong until God showed me otherwise.   God showed me that I can't  choose sides and also that she was hurt by my reaction to her feelings. So I apologized and the funny part is what she had told me was the truth and maybe I wasn't  mature enough at the time. Maybe I just didn't  want to see it but I've  learned a lot from her and I didn't even know I did. She's  like the older version of me and we are only a year apart. We aren't  as close as before but she accepted my apology and we talk sometimes. I pray God continues to bless her and wait, her new bundle of joy. My sister I love you and Thank you for being the honesty I needed, even when I didn't wanna hear it.

I also learned that you have to be careful how you say things and what you say. The bible says to be slow to speak and quick to hear. Lol well I was always fast to speak. With that I hurt someone else and its not that I didn't  mean what I said its just I said it in a very  mean way and I would never want to portray Christ like that. So I apologized to her.
What I learned from that is Ive outgrown certain people and certain things. Even though I love some of my friends, I have to love them from a distance. I pray  for them everyday to know Christ and to grow in all aspects of their life but I just don't  have the desire to hang around them like I did years ago. I tried to fight it for so long to where I became uncomfortable around them and I rather keep my distance than to lie to myself and them.
Plus when someone continues to portray the same behavior over and over and you've confronted them a bunch of times and they still don't  get it, its like alright I'm done. Love ya but you stay over there.

I also learned to trust God this year which I put in a previous post. I stopped working  like a maniac and the bills still got paid and we all know how, HA GOD. He is so awesome.

One last things I did which was major was leaving my church. I had been at my church since I was a child. I had been battling with this for almost 3 years whether I should stay or go. Then someone told me "when God is ready for you to go, he'll  tell you, the spirit will tell you" so I sat still  for about a year and then the spirit  started making me uncomfortable and while I was praying God said to Go. I attend a new Church now and I love it. I still  help my old church out, I never  mind helping someone  but I learned a few years ago when God  says move you better start shuffling your feet ASAP!!!

I tell you I could go on and on about the events of 2014 but I'm leaving 2014 with this Lord I'm Ready Now. I've  been running so long from the anointing on my life. I've  been worried about everything  except what God wants me to do. God has given me confirmation on some things and I'm trusting him to make it happen. God is beyond awesome.

To my starting 5 I love you all  because  you guys support my walk with Christ, you encourage me to continue on and at the same time you all keep me laughing everyday. Idk what I would do without that GroupMe chat lol.

To my family I love yall and I love how even if we don't see each other all of the time when we finally all get together its all love. I mean both sides of the family.

To my love, my bff, my mirror I love you and I'm  sooooo excited about our future. Even though I drive you  insane you still love me unconditionally.

Finally I got a new job coming well a transfer, I finished this semester strong, my book is complete and I'm really focused on becoming healthy physically.

With that being said, I'm ready and I pray you are all ready for 2015. I speak life and prosperity for you all, claim your year. As for me well I cant say but know that God has great things in store for me. Next year will be life changing!!!!! Be blessed!!

Tardy For The Party

I was told the closer you draw to Christ the further away from the world you will be. I didn't pay it too much attention because I figured whoever I knew could come along with me. All of my friends believe in God but only one of them are saved. I figured I could be an example and soon we all could attend church together and everything would run smooth.  WRONG!!!
Jesus told his disciples come and follow me and I will make you fishers of men. It seemed it was so easy for the disciples to leave their whole life and just follow Christ, maybe it was because Christ was right in front of them so his Spirit they couldn't deny, idk what it was but I said why isn't it that easy for me. I don't mean not being able to follow God's word but being able to leave friends and family behind and just praying that they will one day get saved.

Last month, I believe, I had become highly offended because a friend of mine took another friend out for her birthday and I wasn't invited and when I confronted her about the situation her response was "girl you wouldn't have liked it anyway you would of been throwing your Holy water everywhere". First I don't walk around with Holy water. My other friend who is trying to know God better apologized for not inviting me and I was like cool whatever but the friend that made that comment bothered me a little. I prayed on it and I said nothing to her until the Spirit showed me I'm different.  I'm no longer like her, well not just her none of them. I see the world different, most of the time when I'm out I have to pray to myself because of what I see, I can't take the cursing and bickering. My other friend finally told me that on that night her and my other friend got into a big argument and it was almost a fight and I said to myself thank God I didn't go.
Something else stuck out to me my man's mom said "you shouldn't be bothered by not being invited, it shows you're growing in Christ". I realized that I can't cling to the world and God too, some people will get left behind, some people will catch up and others will fall my the wayside. Don't get me wrong I cherish all of my friends, the ones I speak to everyday and the ones I speak to every 3 months. They have been there through a lot with me but Christ has been there through things they have no idea about so if that means I have to miss dinner, a concert, a road trip or even a vacation oh well it just shows I'm growing and maturing in Christ and out of all of my friends he is the friend that I need by my side the most.

So saints don't worry about being tardy for the party or even missing it all. The bible says we are a strange and peculiar people, most people will feel very uncomfortable when we are around and that's fine, Christ is fine with us just the way we are so should we!!!

It's Me God!! Do You Have A Minute!!

Man oh man, it feels like I haven't wrote on my blog in a while. I guess I can catch you up with what's been going on. Basically  school is back in session. Smh!!! It's not easy and I'm only taking 2 classes lol. I'm in school to get my Social Work license and even though I know this is something that needs to get done, most days I just want to sleep lol.
One class I'm taking in school is Faith and theology, don't ask how I got in there because that's a whole different  blog entry but let's just say it's a interesting class and once I'm done I'm going to wrote about it. I still have the full time job, plus my relationship plus my relationship with God and plus God keeps giving me all of these things to do. Well at first I was slacking because I figured hey God knows I'm in school so let me just pray everyday and that should be enough. Ha!!! With everything going on my relationship with God was what I seemed to be putting on the back burner. Others who know me would say how when you're always at church, bible study and so forth. All of that was fine but my prayer life started to shorten, I would read my bible real quick and go to sleep, I found myself checking my emails before praying, my blog, which God told me to start, was being completed ignored all because my life had become too hectic.  Then today the spirit convicted me and we'll here I am. Lol that conviction is no joke.  If you've never felt conviction  before then hmmmmm that's another blog too. Lol. But yea so I started this challenge in my bible app, Kick start Your Spirit! Basically it showed me that I got wrapped  up in the world. Of course we all have our everyday life and yes God wants you to prosper. God doesn't mind you working, for a man who doesn't work doesn't eat. God doesn't mind you going to school but God does mind when you start putting all of those things before him.

For Matthew 6:24 states "No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate one and love the other; or else he will hold to one and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon."

Needless to say I just stared organizing my time better, instead of watching my favorite TV shows, I sleep so I can get up pray read the word then go workout.

God really does want you to have a good life, he wants you to have joy but he also wants you to prioritize, with him being first and everything else being 2nd.

Be blessed my brothers and sisters. Remember spend more time with God, stay in your word and fast and pray, we all have a calling on our life make sure you're doing what God wants you to do and not what you want to do.

Prayer Prayer and More Prayer!!!!!

First I want to say may Robin Williams RIP and that mental illness is real people, I work in the field so I know and we should all thank God for keeping us in our right mind because it can happen to any of us. 

2nd I want to say may the young African American men that were killed RIP also. Pray for the families of these men and pray for change to come. I am saddened that the police are so scared of our men/boys that they feel it's ok to execute them. The devil is having a field day, prayer is desperately needed.

Now I won't lie I don't watch the news like that, which I should because then I would know who and what to pray for but honestly sometimes the news can be so oooo depressing. I recently posted on my instagram about Mike Brown's murder and the man I'm dating said "everyone is posting about all of this other stuff but no one is posting about the Christians that are being persecuted in Iraq". He went on for days about that and he's still going on about it. I finally turned to the news and I didn't see it and then he told me to look on CNN. I also looked online and I must say, my heart broke. Lord have mercy, the pictures alone were heartbreaking. 

This group ISIS is forcing people to choose between following Christ or dealing with horrific consequences up to death. Children are being beheaded, parents are being killed and what is America doing? We can mind everyone else's business when it comes to oil or whatever but when it comes to people being murdered what do we do, NOTHING!! 

Now Jesus said we would be persecuted . That if the world hated him they would hate us.

2 Timothy 3:12 KJV
"Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution."

There it is clear as day In Revelation 20:4 KJV
"And I saw thrones, and they sat upon them, and judgment was given unto them: and I saw the souls of them that were beheaded for the witness of Jesus, and for the word of God, and which had not worshipped the beast, neither his image, neither had received his mark upon their foreheads, or in their hands; and they lived and reigned with Christ a thousand years."

And then in John 15:18-20 KJV
"If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.    If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.    Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also."

The truth is none of us know when Christ is coming back but the end is near and we must get our houses in order. People are killing eachother from children to adults, sexual immortality,  stealing, people are doing strange things and Christians are being beheaded/ murdered. Is this not in the bible? Did not Paul and Peter warn us? I heard someone in the church say if Christ is not back soon there will soon be two choices Christ or the mark of the beast. I pray for Christ return before that happens to the whole world but for now I pray. I pray for my fellow Christians, I pray for this world because they have no idea what is ready to come and they refuse to hear the gospel, i pray for you all and I pray that you keep me in your prayers. Most of all I pray for my fellow Christians, may you receive the courage of Daniel and the strength of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We are all in desperate need of prayer, lets make prayer the first thing we do in the morning and the last thing we do at night and let's not be selfish in prayer but praying for one another.  Peace and Blessings to you all!!!!

Where Do You Stand!!!

I can remember going to church as a little girl and singing on the choir. I remember getting baptized when I was about 15, I remember reading my Bible and learning The Lord's Prayer, and I also remember after all of that leaving the church and going my own way. Not until 2 years ago did I honestly get saved. I realized everyone who screams Jesus, says Amen and shout that they are saved. Was not the devil an angel? Now the bible does say "if thou shall confess with thou mouth The Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God had raised Him from the dead, you will be saved".

Where do you stand? There's no in between with it comes to following God, so where do you stand?

The question is do you think that is enough to get you into the kingdom? My opinion no. Let me tell you why!
 In Matthew 7:21 it says "Not everyone who says to Me "Lord, Lord, shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven." As I stated in a previous blog there is a mark you have to meet. I don't care if you go to church every Sunday and sit on the first pew and quote every scripture, if you are not living right, well lol you're going to be hot.

You can't sin Monday through Saturday and claim Jesus on Sunday. God wants us to live right. I have people tell me "I still do what I want but I believe in Jesus, but I'm getting it together" that blows my mind because first you don't even know how long you have to get it together, second God is merciful but he doesn't want you to abuse his grace and mercy by continuing to do the same thing over and over.

Now God forgives those who heartily repents but God wants us to be Holy. We are told to examine ourselves. 2Corithians 13:5-6 "Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you-unless indeed you are disqualified.

God loves us, he wants us in that number, "walk in the spirit, and you shall fulfill the lust of the flesh". You won't get it right everyday all day, you will stumble, but if you are committing sin willing each and everyday then I'm telling you, you are on the wrong path and you need to pick yourself up and turn around. None of us know the day nor the hour, why not be ready. Trust me sometimes I fall, and sometimes I fall hard but the spirit convicts me which leads me to repent and teaches me how not to fall back into that sin anymore. God is able to keep you from falling, if you believe he is able too. Let's start walking in the light and leave the dark streets for the enemy. Strive to live right and God willing I'll see you on the inside of those pearly gates. Be blessed my brothers and sisters.

On To The Next!!!

Proverbs 1:10-15 KJV
"My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not. If they say, Come with us, let us lay wait for blood, let us lurk privily for the innocent without cause: Let us swallow them up alive as the grave; and whole, as those that go down into the pit: We shall find all precious substance, we shall fill our houses with spoil: Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse: My son, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path"

Lately I've found myself distant from most, drawing back from people who were once people I spoke to everyday. I closed the door to a friendship that I had for over 15 years and I just find myself wanting to be around other saints. Please don't get me wrong I still have love for all of my friends and family, I guess you can say I'm lost in God's presence. I no longer desire to be around people who aren't trying to develop a close relationship with Christ, I no longer want to go to the club or speak to people that have to curse all the time, I guess I've changed. I was told by my Gaga and older saints, that as I grow in Christ, friends and some family will get left behind. Now don't have me mistaken, I'm no angel, I stumble and fall, like everyone else my flesh is weak, but I realize putting myself  around people that are of this world and putting myself in places I should not be is on me. I had to change my circle, I had to say no I don't wanna go there.

The friendship I ended was complete instructions by God, which was "close the door" and I fought with it for months, I kept trying to keep the friendship, I sought out counsel from other Christians but then one day God just gave me peace about it.  I felt less heavy, I felt like we had reached the finish line and do I still love her ? Of course but the chapter was closed and I'm OK with that.

Sometimes us as Christians we tend to want God to open all of these doors for us while we are still standing in the hallway of our old lives. We can't have the world and Jesus too, we have to chose.

While at a retreat this weekend, I heard a speaker say, "you have to look forward and stop looking back at Sodom". Which means your blessings are ahead of you, looking back or going back to your old life is only going to lead to death. Just as it happened for Lot's wife.

Why are we so scared to let go?
Why do we hold on to people and things that hinder our relationship with The Lord?
Why do we continue to look back at Sodom?
Why do we keep doors open that are supposed to be closed?

BECAUSE WE DO NOT TRUST GOD!!!! There are too many examples in the scriptures that God Is Able To Do All Things!!!!! But yet in still we doubt him. As for me I'm tired of looking back and I'm ready for the great destiny Hod has for me.  We have to trust God when he closes a door, we have to trust a God in all things because "he knows the plans he has for us".

We are not here to judge but people of this world, don't know Christ so they live how they want and do what they want, but we are children of the most high, we are the light for the us, everything we do is watched, WE CANNOT DO WHAT OTHERS DO, and so with that we have to do better  and be better examples. Everyone can't go where you're destined to go.

• So they ask me to pick my top best friends I laugh and said The Father The Son and the Holy Spirit, the best friends any one could ever ask for!!!'

I AM A PRISONER AND I LOVE MY SENTENCE!!!

Have you ever read something and didn't quite understand what it meant and then maybe 2 weeks later you were like oooo I get it now. Well that recently happened to me. I read the New Testament (not my first time, but for some reason this time it stuck out) where Paul talked about being a Prisoner for Christ. At first I was like what!!!! I meant I understood him from his point of view but I said to myself, am I a prisoner of Christ? I didn't dwell on it anymore.  Then time went on and I slowly but surely I felt myself being uneasy and definitely uncomfortable around certain people. Their language offended me, their vulgar post offended me, their behavior offended me. I tried to fight it and continue the relationship but I couldnt. The spirit was on me and said to me "It's Over".  I was like what!!! I sought out opinions from people who I knew were mature in Christ and the advice was: "the deeper you grow in Christ, the more you and your friends will part ways, if they aren't seeking Christ themselves.  I fought it and fought it and fought it until I couldn't take it no more. I was wrestling with the Spirit because here I was friends with folks for years and I had to break ties with them. Like what this really happening here. Then it was while I was in church I heard "it's time" so I was like time for what. Then days passed and the Spirit said "It's time for you to do what you're suppose to do". Like really that's all you're gonna say, I mean can I just do what I want to do and still serve God?  Trust me Christ and I have a good relationship he knows I'm very dramatic. Then it hit me, I'm a prisoner. I do what Christ wants me to do even when I don't like it, I move when he says move,  he leads me wherever I go and even though I don't want to do something, I do it, because I want to do everything God wants me to do. So I am a prisoner and I don't mind. I don't mind spreading the gospel and I definitely don't mind saying I am a Christian and I definitely don't mind allowing God to make the choices in my life. So hey I may lose a couple of friends, I may have to speak, things may not go the way I want them to go but everything works out for the goodness of the Lord and my Lord and Savior is the only one I have to please, I'm excited about my sentence. People may delete me and say there she goes again posting about Christ, but I can't help it, even when things aren't going the way I planned, I still have unspeakable joy.  God uses who he wants to use, no matter what your past looks like, no matter what you have done, no matter what you are going through. Paul use to persecute people and was speaking against Christ, was he not converted? In the bible there are many that were used for different reasons. I am no different and neither are you. Trust in God, for the path you have for yourself, more than likely isn't the path The Lord has for you. Be blessed my brothers and sisters and May Christ be with you always!!!!

Allow God to WORK!!!!

By no means does this post condone premarital sex or having children out of wedlock. Nor does it condone divorce or am I saying that children aren't a blessing because they are.   

I was a single parent, not for a long period of time but long enough to rip and run on my own, to be the mom and dad and to have that alone feeling, that feeling of what if or how will I do this or that or maybe the father will love me later on. 

All of those emotions ran through me day in and day out and even though my son did not survive I feel I still got favour. My son's death saved me so don't worry about me. My heart cries out to the single parents or the person who feels having a child will change things. It will not. 
 I was reading the OT and came across Hagar, who for those who don't know was Sarah's maid. Sarah was barren (unable to have kids) so instead of her waiting on God, she grew impatient and allowed Hagar to get impregnated by Abraham. Now Hagar got pregnant right away and gave birth to Ishmael.  Years later Sarah was finally blessed with a son Issac and as soon as he was weaned that's when Sarah wanted Hagar and Ishmael to be casted out. 
Genesis 21:10
"Therefore she said to Abraham, "Cast out this bond woman and her son; for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, namely with Issac."

Now Abraham did as his wife asked because God told him to listen to her. 

Further in the OT you find Jacob with his wives Leah and Rachel. Now Rachel was barren and that is who Jacob truely loved but Leah had many sons by Jacob. All Leah kept saying is "Now this time my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons" The end result was that his heart belonged to Rachel.  Now I get many lessons from these stories in the OT but the one that sticks out to me is. Yes we all make mistakes, yes we confuse love with lust and yes sometimes you end up raising a child alone but if you turn to God he promises to take care of you and your child, he will become the absent parent. God doesn't want you stay in a broken home, playing house with someone who isn't your husband. OK you had a child now let's get it right.  First who God intends for you to be with trust that is who you will be with. Like me, most of us had children with a person we shouldn't of been with in the first place. In my case it turned out to save me and turn me completely to Christ. Don't get me wrong children are a blessing but they are also expensive and hard to raise alone. If you are a single parent I commend you and pray you turn to God so he can help you along the way and maybe even send you that husband or wife who is willing to be a great parent to your child. But if you're reading this and you have no children I say wait. Wait on the Lord to send you who he deems fit for you, not saying everything will be lollipops and unicorns but when God is guiding you and your partner it's so much easier. Trust me, I know. I will say this, since I allowed God to choose who I should date man oh man everything is much easier. Be blessed and remember God has a plan for your life it's up to you to follow Christ. 

Trust The Promise

As human beings we tend to worry, go into panic mode or stress over every little thing. I thought for awhile it's just my generation that does this because we are a weak generation. Money, dead end relationships and pleasing others are our focus. This past week I worked 130 hours, why, I really don't know, I figured let me stack more money before school starts. Well working so much made me too tired to go and worship at Sunday service, I was too tired to do anything, so my daily bible reading got pushed to the back burner, I missed bible study and I love bible study and well you get what I'm trying to say. I finally stopped and said what am I doing, why am I working so hard, it couldn't be for my needs because God promised to supply all of my needs, so what I had to be working so hard for was my wants. I realized I ignored Gods promise to me and did what I wanted to do or what satisfied me. I decided to take a day and pray and read my bible. I didn't know what book I wanted to read, finally the spirit led me to the book of Genesis. Well talk about people doing things their own way geeezzzz. Who struck me most was Abraham. God gave Abraham a promise: Genesis 12:1-3 KJV [1] Now the Lord had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father's house, unto a land that I will shew thee: [2] And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing: [3] And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed. Now here is the promise by the time you get to the middle of chapter 12 Abraham, loses faith and uses deceit because he feared that he was going to be killed for his wife Sarah. I was reading my bible puzzled. Then later God tells Abraham he will protect him and makes his rewards great, but instead of Abraham being satisfied with that he goes and says to The Lord, Genesis 15:2-3 KJV [2] … what wilt thou give me, seeing I go childless, and the steward of my house is this Eliezer of Damascus? [3] And Abram said, Behold, to me thou hast given no seed: and, lo, one born in my house is mine heir. … As to say your protection and rewards are well and good but it's not enough I want a baby. God promises him a child and not only does he not wait for the promise him and Sarah takes matters into their own hands and Abraham has Ishmael with Hagar. So at this moment I threw my hands up because enough was enough. The best part is through all of that God kept his promise, God remained faithful and Gods love never wavered. There is a promise for each and everyone be of us if we trust God to do what he said he would do. Trusting him doesn't mean tampering with the promise, it doesn't mean he needs your two cent, it doesn't mean he needs a push from you, it means be still and know that he is God. God gave me a promise about the middle of last year and even though I had my moments where I grew inpatient I had to step back and let God be God. Most of us are self destructive anyway why not let God handle your life. I say this to say, God knows the plans he has for you and if you just let him do the work what a great plan it would be. You've tried it on your own for how long? Try God, his promise remains the same today, yesterday and forever. Be blessed my brothers and sisters.

Meeting the Mark!!!!

Earlier last week I got into a great conversation with the guy I'm dating about people wanting to do what they want and figuring as long as they screamed "God forgive me" that somehow that meant you we're getting into heaven. I noticed that people take God for granted. They use his grace and mercy as a reason to sin continuously but as we were talking he said something that made me want to write this blog, he clearly said "there is a mark you have to meet as a Christian". Not that I didn't already know that but I feel a lot of people that may be new in Christ may not. There are a couple of facts; God's grace and mercy endure forever, God is a forgiving God, God sent his son Jesus to die for us so we may have eternal life and salvation, God wants you in the number, he wants you to make it to the kingdom of heaven and of course you will fall, for we are all sinners BUT!!! BUT, just because God is a forgiving God and his grace and mercy endures forever doesn't mean you are to sin every hour then scream God forgive me and you are getting into the kingdom of heaven. First you're taking a huge risk because we don't know the hour or minute Christ is coming back and you may be caught out there, second if you are saved and a child of God when you sin knowingly you feel conviction which leads you to repentance. Repentance leads to forgiveness and should teach you not to commit the sin again. God is able to deliver you from sinful ways but you have to be willing also. There is a mark you have to meet if you want to get unto the kingdom of heaven. Now God will meet you half way and help you along the way through your transformation but you have to put in work too.. In the book of James 4:7-8 KJV it states:
"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. [8] Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded."
Like I said in my last blog there is no more riding the fence. Of course when you first come to Christ you are like a baby but as you grow in Christ you will learn how to behave as a Christian. If you don't know something is wrong then ok, you'll learn, but if you know it's wrong and you continue to do it then obviously you don't care about the consequences.  The Holy Spirit teaches us a little bit at a time but there is work you have to put in, there is a mark you have to meet. It's like getting into the best college, not just anyone can get in, you have to meet the college admission standards. It the same with getting into heaven, there is a mark you have to meet, whether you want to meet it or not is on you, as for me it's not easy but everyday I become a better Christian than yesterday, meeting that mark is my prayer each and everyday. Be blessed my brothers and sisters!!!

Giving and Trusting!!!!!

I must admit that I just started really tithing. Before I got delivered I always said "well God knows how much I get" so I would give 20.00 here 40.00 here and I never thought much about it. I always listened to the pastor say "will a man rob God" I would always say oh boy here he goes. Lol. Well this year I said OK Lord you've blessed me with a great job so I'm going to pay my tithes correctly, the first thing I'm going to do when I get my check is take out my tithes and we shall see. I also wasn't too keen on giving to the homeless, I know I know, well let me say this first, most people believe that when they pay tithes it means God is ready to flood your wallet with cash, not necessarily, God can bless you in any aspect of your life. God can give you joy, he can heal your body, he can give you things you've been waiting on and much more, so don't only look for a financial blessing. So let me tell you what happened to me, first I have unspeakable joy, second I got a raise at work and for some reason my bills have decreased, I don't even worry about the bills. I then started seeing the homeless and just started giving. I realize I was selfish, I idolized money because it was my main focus but once I stopped chasing money and started chasing God my perspective on money and my finances changed. I realized God has always taken care of me and he always will. "Bring ye all tithes into the storehouse" I'm not saying if your ready to be evicted turn over all of your cash, but if God has blessed you with an income give him what's due because as quick as God gives he can take away. I trust him to always take care of me, so today while listening to my favorite station K love, I heard people who have less than me giving and then the spirit led me to give. God said its time to increase your giving. The devil tried to stop me by reminding me about my trip to Jamaica coming up, I said nope I'll be alright and gave anyway. Do you trust him? Do you know someone in need? Children are starving, people are homeless and jobless,why not give? Or maybe not caring is easier for you but I see things differently now. We don't realize how many things we put before God because we are so wrapped up in our everyday lives. Is there something that is controlling your life, maybe it's time you turn it over to God I know he'll bless you. Maybe it's not money, maybe you put your job before God, or your family, or Face book or just anything. God wants to be first and once he is first and at the top of your list he will take care of everything else. Trust me I know, I'm definitely working on it and the spirit is working in me teaching me day by day. Even though I'm learning, I've learned to trust God, for his love never wavers and whatever he has planned for me is way better than what I have planned for myself. Be blessed my brothers and sisters!!!

It's Time You Choose A Side!!!

"He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters abroad" Matthew 12:30 NKJV These past couple of weeks, I have been keeping to myself, not saying much, just being observant. I happened to notice a couple of things. Some of us that I claim to be Christian have it completely twisted 80% of us are lukewarm Christians. We scream Jesus but don't behave the way he wants us to. We lie, steal, be drunk, commit adultery, fornicate, and so on and so on. Not saying I don't sin, we are all sinners but through Christ we can have strength and chains can be broken but I notice that we don't want to give up what we do. Half of us don't even try, we say God will forgive me or the famous line, "God knows my heart" smh. What does that mean? You can keep on sinning and get into the gates of heaven. Ha at you if you believe that.  No man knows the day, hour or minute when Jesus is coming so why not be prepared for his return. Why not work on being delivered from the sin that keeps you bound. You can't keep riding the fence, it's either you are team Jesus or team Satan, there is NO in between, there is no riding the fence, there is no space for Luke warm Christians. God is building his army, don't you wanna be in the number, don't you wanna see Jesus, or maybe the things of this world is more important. Let me let you in on a little secret when you pass on you can't take any of that with you, the world will go on and depending on which team you choose you'll either be in paradise or in a place that is a million degrees, and I for one don't like to sweat. Trust God , spend time in his word, the world has nothing to offer, you can't be on both sides.  Anything that you feel like you can't live without has power over you (ex: money, alcohol, drugs, your boyfriend or girlfriend (not even husband or wife smh), and so forth). "No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to one, and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon." Are you of the father or of the devil "If God were your Father, you would love me.....................you are of your father the devil and the desires of your father you want to do"John 8:42-47. Strive to be more like Christ, we are suppose to bring others to Christ, how can we do that if we are doing what everyone else is doing. The days of riding the fence are over, choose a side, as for me I choose Christ, what about you? Peace and blessings and may Christ be with you.

You Are More!!!!!!!!

"Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the children of God" (1 John 3:1). It took me 30 years to love myself, 30 years to find love and 30 years to express it. While looking at myself in the mirror the other day, I smiled and thought to myself Pam you are beautiful. My heart was smiling and I exhaled. I had never felt that before. I mean I always thought I loved myself but realized there is no possible way that could be. After finding Christ, I realized I'm soooooo much more than I thought I was. I'm a daughter of a king and why I never behaved so bothers me, not really for myself but for others around me. I use to wear little dresses and tight fitting clothes, I stayed with men who couldn't possibly give me what I wanted or needed, I degraded my body by having sex with someone who wasn't my husband, I would drink harder than any man and so forth and I realized now, I couldn't have loved myself the way I do now because if I did, I wouldn't have acted in such a way. You are more than what you are selling yourself for. A man/woman who really wants to be with you will wait and if he/she doesn't she want to then they are not worth your time. I see people on fb/Instagram going off everyday about the relationship they are in, the job they have, the money they don't have and so on. God has so much more for you but for some reason you think by doing it your way, you're gonna accomplish something. You lay up with your partner every night, has he or she mentioned marriage?  9 times out of 10 nope, y'all are still in the "dating stage" for 3 or 4 years. You are at the bottom when it comes to your job, everyone gets promoted but you, when will it end? You've been there forever and you don't see a problem with making the same pay for forever. I mean is it just me but it takes a whole lot of coins to live to survive these days. When do you say it's time for a change, when do you start asking God to remove the unnecessary from your life and when do you start making the change. I've always been a "go-getta" if that's what you would even call it. This time I allowed God to make the choice of job and trust I love my job. I was always in the bad relationship, trying to change a man, trying to make a family without the wife title, living with the man, planning this one sided future until God had to step and say, daughter you are more than this. Then when I said yes to God and let him do the work, I allowed him to send me who he wanted. How are we suppose to teach our children if we can't even get it right ourselves. Out the window with that 90 day rule, unless it ends with an I do. Out the window with working every single day of the week, out the window with  the devil manipulating your mind making you think you have to be a slave on your job. Like Paul, I'm only a prisoner of Christ!!! YOU ARE MORE!!! I'm not saying mistakes won't happen, I'm definitely not saying quit your job and sit at home, I'm saying trust God to make the decisions for you, trust God to lead you where you need to be and trust God to find your mate. I'm scared for our youth, I mourn for them because they have no one to guide them, the parents don't have them in church, the parents are lost, the parents are still playing house. Children mimic what they see, so it's okay for your daughter to be shacked up with some man who isn't her husband, it's okay for your son to be playing house with some woman or out in the streets all night and day. No it's not. I know every one wants to be turned up but I'm going to need you all to turn down for minute. I love myself so much more than I did years ago, my soul has joy, I see great things in the future and that's only because I'm going to work towards them, but God has something greater! I can feel it. For God says "eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." Love God and trust him, I can't promise all flowers and lollipops, but I can promise that he will mold you into the beautiful person you are meant to be and you'll look back and say I was WAY more than I thought. Be blessed my brothers and sisters. May the peace of God be with you.

MY NEW FRIEND!!

You know they say you may know of a person but do you really know that person. Well lately I've gotten a new friend. Never really knew who he was and honestly I never tried to get to know him, all I knew was that he existed and I left it there. Well this new friend, who Ill name in a second is one busy body. He has me smiling all of the time sometimes he keeps me at bay. Things I use to say right away, I can't say anymore. People I use to hang around, I can't hang around them anymore like that. All this cursing and ratchet behavior puts me in a bad space. I crave God and I can't stop. Sometimes I will read for hours, fast and pray. Pray for longer than I've ever prayed but no longer just for me and my loved ones, for everyone the world, every church. My discernment is on point, my love for people has grown and everyone who knows me knows that well I'm a little different. I crave to be around other Christians just so I can get the goosebumps I receive when talking about God. This new friend is something else and I don't give him all of the glory because Christ told me he would send him to me but I didn't know I would feel him the way I do. Yes y'all it's the Holy Spirit. I never thought he would manifest in me the way he has and I can't resist him. I've tried because people have invited me to parties and such things and I find myself in a battle because yes I want to support them because they are my friends and family, but that isn't who I am anymore. My man's mom was explaining to me not to fight it when the spirit tells you no because that means it's something you're not suppose to do or not suppose to go to. I know most won't understand what I'm talking about and that's okay the closer you draw to Christ you shall see but for those that know, you know exactly what I'm talking about. God wants us to be Holy, he wants us to walk like Christ and though we can never be perfect it is our job to strive to be more like Christ. We are in a spiritual warfare and the enemy is running around wilding for respect trying to gather followers. It's simple you either choose God or you choose Satan, there is no in between, there is no riding the fence. The Bible says no one knows the day nor the hour that he is coming back, why even chance it. It's so much more to following Christ, it's not easy at first but it's okay to crawl before you walk, but your ultimate goal should be to receive Christ, receive the Holy Spirit, love like Christ loves, pray for others, forgive others, be on fire for Christ and spread his word. This journey that I am on, I honestly don't know where it's going, who I will meet or leave behind or what is going to happen but I know that my Lord and Savior is with me and so is the comforter, whom shall I fear, for I have on the full armor of God and I pray you grow in Christ and allow him to mold you and allow the Holy Spirit to teach you and guide you. I love the new friend I've made. God has opened doors I never expected to be walking through, trust God, turn to God and he will lead you exactly where you need to be. BE BLESSED my sisters and brothers. May Christ dwell with you until next time.

Your Blessed Stop Complaining!!!!

Being from East New York, Brooklyn most people would assume that I had it so bad, I mean I went through a lot of traumatic stuff but financially I was definitely taken care of. I wore nice clothes, I travelled to different places, I had my own room, my Christmas was always blessed with a whole living room full of stuff, I always had food and I had extracurricular activities (African dance, swimming, extra math classes), by the time I was 14 years old I worked at HBO making good money. Now this isn't to brag at all, it's a point I want to make in my blog. I hear a lot of people complaining about they don't have this and they don't have that, my job makes me sick, blah blah blah but honestly it sickens me.  There are people who wake up everyday on the street, they have no food, their children will never know what it feels like to take a trip or have everything they want.  Jesus wants us to have compassion on our brothers and sisters, he wants us to love one another as he has loved us.  A while ago I started an organization to mentor young girls and even though life got in the way it is something that I will finish.  Sometimes all it takes is a dollar, or a nice smile, or a how are you doing to make some one's day. Stop being so selfish, teach your children to treat people with respect.  Why not volunteer somewhere and help someone, why not be a mentor to a young girl or boy who doesn't have someone to guide them and if you have the means, why not adopt a child (I sooooooo wanna do this in the future)?  How can we say we love Christ and not love the homeless man on the train or the child without a home, we have to do better as Christians but not even as Christians as a nation. God blessed me financially and he gave me strength to endure every storm so why can't I give a little more or listen to problems that aren't mine. So I decided to do something I never did and when I say God blessed me, I was shouting Thank you Jesus! Lol.  I decided to give financially to it hurt. I knew these people needed it and I was like OK I'll be good, then a bill came out of no where and I was like heck no what am I going to do, so I prayed and left it there with God and went about my business. A couple of days went by and it was revealed to me that I was getting a check and on the same day that the bill was due. God is so good, he always takes care of his children, all he wants us to do is put him first and trust him. As I look back over my life, I must say God has kept be through the trials and tribulations and I know I am blessed beyond measures.  Pray for God to show you how to love and for you to have wisdom, that you have a caring heart because you just never know the cards life is going to deal you. That home, that car, that job are all blessings from God, if you continue to take it for granted you may look up one day and have to ask for change. Be blessed