I must say forgiveness is probably some people's hardest task. When someone hurts you emotionally, physically, or even mentally and sometimes financially it's hard to just accept the apology and move forward. For some reason for me it's not that hard. For me it's simple since finding Christ just apologize and move on but an apology for me doesn't mean the relationship will remain the same. Yes I will still love you and care for you but from distance. I think the hardest person to forgive in my life was myself. Through various trials and tribulations I was so hard on myself because I allowed someone else's actions to determine my own. I hold no grudges against anyone because God forgave me so many times who am I not to forgive. At one point my best friend from hurt me, not purposely, but she did and for awhile I wouldn't talk to her, I had to pray on it because regardless of the situation she was and is my sister, so after she and I talked, finally, I still felt some type of way, I accepted her apology but I was still hurt. Not until my son passed away I was able to walk in her shoes and I understood the pain and lost and so I decided that her and I should take a trip away and we did, to AC, where we laughed, prayed and cried and I must say that I'm glad God fixed it because I couldn't ask for a better best friend (Side Note: Just to be clear I love all of my best friends like my family), because she gives without questions and I love her like my sister to this day. I've learned that forgiveness is a must and you can't live your life thinking cutting people off is the answer because you'll get to the point where you have cut off everybody and there is only you left. I'm not saying allow people in your life that continuously hurt you, but I am saying forgiveness is not only for that person but for yourself. Pretending someone didn't hurt you won't change the fact that they did. Talk to them, reach out to them and maybe you can mend your relationship or maybe you won't but at least you'll have peace. I mean I even forgave my son's father and I apologized to him because of the threats I gave out and how much I tried to make him suffer. It wasn't up to me to do so, God is the only one who is in control and when we start taking matters into our own hands, things tend to spiral out of control. For God said "revenge is mine" but me being me with a very short temper blacked out but I regret it. So I forgave him and I have no grudge against him, I mean it took awhile but I did it. Most people would say why in the world would you do that, it wasn't for him it was totally for me. Now I'm at a point where he is happily married and I pray they are blessed and I'm happily dating someone and he wishes me the same because he has forgiven me. With all of that being said, it's time I take my own advice. When I started this blog, I didn't know how much info I wanted the world to know about me, but I realized my journey is my testimony, so I decided to just let it all out. As my close friends know, I was molested and emotionally abused as a child, which left me damaged and I've seen my abuser from time to time. We would see each other and just walk pass each other like we never knew each other, but I'm finally ready to talk to him after almost 10 years of not speaking. I'm not going to get some heartfelt apology but to tell him I forgive him and that he's in my prayers (I'll let you know how it goes). I mean again I reiterate God has brought me from a mighty long way, the least I can do is forgive the people who have hurt me and move on with my life, because I know God has something great in store for me and I won't ever get it living in the past.
May you all be blessed and remember the past is the past but if you're still mad then the past now effects you're future.
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