OK I GET IT!!!!!!

The past two weeks have been a spiritual rollercoaster for me. I found myself asking for guidance and reassurance about various situations. Is he or is he not the one? Should I mend the friendship or close the door completely? Lord I feel myself being pulled in a different direction, should I or should I not go? 2weeks I battled, 2 weeks of constant confusion and honestly of losing patience. I was then invited to a Revival by a friend, I didn't expect to get much, just wanted to give God glory, I mean if I use to be able to go to the club every day of the week, why not the house of The Lord. Each day of Revival The Lord said to me "seek me and ye shall find me". Me being new in Christ I figured hey it's just the minister talking, nothing big. But the message got louder and louder "Seek Me And Ye Shall Find Me" I said ok I pray everyday no biggie. So by Saturday I was like ok Lord what's up? Because I had a meeting that left me feeling like do I belong here? Then I had a conversation with a friend about different denominations and how our churches are alike but the fact is we all believe that Christ died for our sins and rose again on the 3rd day. Even though to him it was just a casual conversation, the questions were sinking deep in my soul and I kind of wanted the conversation to be over with. By Sunday, the last day of the revival, I was spiritually in need of God to talk to me. As the Minister talked all I heard was, what I heard the other days " Seek me and ye shall find me" but then I heard a whisper and it said "I have to be put first before anything can come together" Then my friend was asked to come to the front of the church and I cried like I've never cried before. Tears of joy of course but I still felt like I needed to hear The Lord's voice. I still felt lost. So last night I got sick and was throwing up and was like what's wrong with me and again I heard "seek me and ye shall find me" I said I pray, what else am I suppose to do, geeezzzz? I then heard "no tv, no fb, no Instagram, no cellphone, no food, no water and you'll find me." No Instagram is the first thing I said lol. So I said ok, if it be in his will, fine. So I got up this morning turned off my phone, got on my knees and prayed and something said read the whole book of 1 Corinthians. I read it and cried all the way through it, fell on my knees again and asked God for forgiveness. I worshipped his name from 9am-12pm. Crying, glorifying him and thanking him continuously. I then said am I dating the right friend and I heard pray for your coworker, who I've only met once, I said ok Lord but I don't know how that helps me but fine. After awhile The Lord told me what I needed to hear not exactly what I wanted to hear though, but it was needed nonetheless. I say this to say if you want to hear from The Lord you have to seek him, praying isn't enough, you have to spend time with him and listen out for him. Don't get me wrong sometimes God tells you exactly what you need but most of the time we don't want to hear it, because as human beings we want what we want when we want it. I'm going to trust in The Lord and trust that what he has said to me today is for my good. There was a door he asked me to close that I have left open and I will do so even though I really don't want to. We are all promised a blessed life if we just put him first and trust him and walk the Christian walk, it won't be easy, it won't be everything we want but if we trust him then it will be EVERYTHING WE NEED AND MORE. OUR HEARTS DESIRES WILL BE GIVEN WITH TRUST OBEDIENCE AND PATIENCE!!!!! BE BLESSED!!!